The Players:
Bruncvík of Prague, a typical guy
Neomenia his neglected wife
[Neomenia, Neoma, Neomah means "new moon" or "new month." The name has ties to the goddess Dianne.]
The domesitcated and abused Lion
A Magic Sword of Mass Destruction Weaponry

Intro:
   Bruncvík takes 50 men on horseback with him. This suggests he's either a person of stature or one helluva persuader. Whichever, they're dead meat in the making. They don't even get mentioned by name in the myth.

   After unspecified adventures, he and his surviving riders reach the ocean, board a ship (horses & all) only to find themselves marooned on the dreaded "Amber Isle" which is pretty much Siren's Island sans Sirens. Boring!  (Except for the man-and-horse eating giant bird, of course.) When only Bruncvík and his loyal (if suicidal) Companion remained alive, the latter sewed the former into a former horse carcass to effect escape. Bird grabs "horse," drops horse to hungry chicks on mainland, flies back to isle seeking more food (formerly known as Bruncvík's Buddy). Bruncvík emerges, purges pullets, resumes adventuring.
What? You want Bruncvík delivering a tear choked eulogy for his friend? Get over it--move on. Bruncvík did.

Enter the Lion:
   After escaping Pterosauric (if Sirenless) island, Bruncvík sets out for the "Lions & tigers & [monsters], oh my" infested forests. Who wouldn't?

   He comes upon a noble beast fighting a 9-headed ignoble beast. Sensing 9 heads are eviler than one, our man whips out his weapon to assist the fatiguing cat. This gives the Lion a respite until Bruncvík also tires of scalehead chopping. Together the two dispatch the Hydra-like brute.  „A je to!“  [Which is Czech for "job done" or "finished."]

   Except...., Bruncvík (being human-centric) doesn't trust the Lion. It takes a life threatening illness, during which time Leo cares for his co-combatant, to convince Mr. B. that this cat's too cool--way loyal. They team up.

   They have adventures. They defeat demons. They visit a progressive nation over which women govern only to steal the gals' Magic Sword, the punishment for which is Bruncvík's being "forcibly" married to the local ruler. [HEY! It wasn't like he was in a committed relationship with his wife or anything. Moreover, he's already established a pattern of marrying and fleeing. Potentiallly a deadbeat dad, too.  Knights! Always looking for the next damsel to distress & conquer.]

The Magic Sword:
   This weapon of mass destruction didn't need a hand helping. It killed on command. Bruncvík orders massacre after massacre. "Blade, heads off!" But remember, in this legend he's the good guy; so that's okay. Especially in that all carnage is gratuitous, violent, and Xtreme earning the myth a "G" rating. No-one expresses love or gets into any icky kissing which would push the rating into PG-13 or 17 realms. And imagine the rating if the myth had been called "Brokeback Bruncvík"!

Homesickness Sets In:
   Still, one can only enjoy auto-decapitation and hanging with manly men so long before the novelty wears off. Bruncvík longed to return home. He missed Prague. (We all do.) But he had a concern; it'd been over 7 years since leaving. Would his wife remember him having never received so much as one postcard? Had she remarried? She'd better not have started a career of her own!

   He shows up at his threshold in Prague or at his prague in Threshold (remember „Praha“ means Threshold in Czech) only to discover his wife and friends in their finest clothes. He inquires about the oddity, thus learning that Queen Neomenia is getting (re)married today. She had gotten a job, and a good one!

   [At this point we infer she's either done extremely well in his absence, or he was King (at least prince) before leaving town. We prefer to believe she's a self-made gal. Congratulations „Blahopøeji“ Neomenia!]

   Cut to the chase. Accusations fly, stuff happens, heads roll, the wife doesn't commit bigamy like her husband "had to." Huzzah! But none of this fable has explained why the Bohemian Lion has two tails which was the whole point of the legend, wasn't it!?

The Tail Splits:
   Someplace along the way Bruncvík sliced his pal's tail in half (the most painful, hard way, lengthwise, of course). However, thanks to mythical gods, it healed as two separate parts, thus making the Lion symbolic of Bohemia. [post hoc ergo proctor hoc] Still, what feline needs a room full of rocking chairs with a friend like Bruncvík?!